DIY dudes

Despite our best efforts to look the part, as soon as we get in the sea Joe and I immediately betray something of the all-the-gear-no-idea persuasion of surfer dude. To combat this, we continue to practice, aka play the long game. In the short term, we take steps to give the impression to our fellow surfers that we are, in fact, as gnarly as they. By ‘take steps’ what I of course mean is make props.

A key accessory if you’re a surfer dude is to wear a horrible necklace of some kind: sometimes a shark’s tooth, but more often an incomprehensible symbol made from shell, rock or coral. These are sold everywhere by earnest salesmen who will give you a boring monologue their items’ symbolism if you so much as blink in his direction.

Or you can make your own, which is what we did. For the benefit of fellow wannabe beach posers, here’s how:

1. Go to a beach
2. Find an enormous piece of dead coral, the bigger the better
3. Attach it to a piece of weathered leather string
4. Spend a few seconds coming up with some meaningful statements about its background/magical powers/the fantastic surfing trick you were engaging in when you found it

Once you’ve completed these 4 steps, all you need to do is let it dangle casually across your naked chest and wait for other dudes to approach and give you respect. Here’s the one Joe made: